After mother - album 3
2019. My mother died from Stage 4 Metastatic Breast Cancer in September 2019. During her last months… she looked and felt nothing like herself. Since her 2016 diagnosis I had diligently photographed her to preserve, uplift, and empower her through her “cancer journey.” But with her bloating, balding, and bruising form… there was nothing to empower or uplift. I had no desire to preserve something that would only further depress me and insult her. So I didn’t. I barely used a camera – only using disposables to capture fleeting moments, which would later be our last travels together.
In November I was invited to InCahoots Residency. A few weeks prior, as my father and I went through my mother’s things, we found some old photo albums. Or more accurately, I had always known they were there on their place on the shelf, but I never knew their contents. Opening them, I discovered incredible photos – many of which were taken during my mother’s time at San Jose State University, and many of which taken when she was my age. And in these albums, my mother paired photographs with words, insight with humor, and fond memories with hopes for the future. We had even photographed many of the same locations: Yosemite, Hearst Castle, Grand Canyon, Death Valley, Carmel, and Mendocino. It was a magical and emotional discovery, and I finally knew what I would create during my time at my first residency, after a year of artistic indecision and indifference. And using those disposable prints from the last travels taken with my mother, I was able to grieve.
At present there are three albums inspired by my mother. This is the third album, after my mother’s 1980-1981 album of Death Valley and moving out of her childhood home, transitioning to college and beyond.
